Two-dog nights

My queen-size bed gets mighty crowded some nights. That’s because I often sleep with two dogs. One is the size of a small pony, while the other is just medium sized. I read recently that you shouldn’t allow pets in your bed if you want a good night’s sleep. That could explain why I feel like a zombie some mornings.

Moses prefers to lie across the foot of the bed, and growls when I try to stretch my legs out and wiggle my feet into position. Maggie likes to cuddle so closely I can feel her fur against my cheek and smell her doggy breath. Some nights, Moses wakes me up with the thumping of a hind paw, as he dreams of chasing squirrels through the woods. When I turn over, one of them growls, the other whines. Both shift positions, leaving me a sliver of space about half the size of a crocheted scarf.

The head of my bed is elevated by four-inch wooden blocks due to my acid reflux problem. Sometimes, my dogs have trouble jumping onto the bed, even though it isn’t elevated at the foot. It’s not so bad helping 60-pound Maggie up, but 115-pound Moses is another matter. I’ve thought about getting one of those pet stairs advertised for aged, arthritic dogs. I doubt my dogs would use it, though. They don’t adjust well to change.

I have a log bed with four huge, round posts. For some reason, the posts keep slipping slightly off the wooden blocks. This never occurred before I replaced the bedroom carpet with pine flooring. If I don’t come up with a way to attach those blocks to the bottom of the bed posts, they are going to slide right off one night and I’ll find myself in the floor with two dogs on top of me. What a rude awakening, and probably a dangerous one.

What I really need is a king-size bed. It would come in handy on the nights my two grandsons sleep here, too. No, the dogs don’t share my bed those nights, but two small boys can take up just as much space as two dogs.

It’s a good thing I don’t have a husband. Would husband plus two dogs equal three-dog nights? Just wondering.